“Rest in peace my man, 2Pac… Even though I know you’re
Not dead cause we was chillin’ last weekend in Cuba”

“New Year, new me… new beginnings
I got some resolutions but who am I kiddin’?
I ain’t doin’ sht differently this year from last
Except become an even bigger, fatter, lazy ass”

“With the summer comin’ everyone is gettin’ they body ready
I’ma do the opposite and eat a pot of spaghetti
A lotta peanut butter and jelly
I ain’t tryin’ to slim down, I’m tryin’ to widen my belly
Don’t need a fckin’ barbell, I got bars myself
That carry mad weight so I gotta be heavy
And I promise ya, B, that when I look like a blob on the beach
Your broad will be slobbin’ my meat”

“It’s Thanksgiving and I’m crushin’ everything at the table
Some turkey, stuffing, even my Aunt Mabel
I told my Uncle Ray don’t get in my fckin’ way, bro
Now I’m dippin’ him in some gravy and mashed potato”